Last night I had a dream about you. You said we would be together, that we would always be a we and that forever would be our eternity. That was short lived by the alarm clock and getting ready for work became my reality. I was in love with a mirage of a man.
He was full of lies but he made love so sweet. He had me wrapped like the wools clothing on a sheep. I met him at a time in my life when I had just gotten over another. I was busy with my life with no care in the world. To be honest, I was lonely and I didnt want to share my life, if only for one night. For awhile it would seem, I completely happy doing me. Then he came like a thief in the night and stole my heart and sanity sounds cliche but it was love at first sight. Now, I look back I was the ideal fool to the playa's eyes. From the time we met when I thought a mutual feeling. His intense passion was of a hunter who found his prey. He woo'ed me and like a playa he played.
Its not his fault and I will not let him take all the blame. I should of left him go when I realized he was a lame. See, she called me and told me he also loved her and that together always and forever is what he promised her ~~ they would be. DAMN, I was devastated but we had barely met and the distance between is what made me forgive and forget. Because how could you expect distance and a newly beautiful romance be the beginning of wedding bells and a father and daughter dance. I was head over heels in love with him so I believed his lies that I was his true love and in time he would have me as his bride. We were introduced as lovers to family and friends. If I knew now what I knew then; but hey it is something I needed to learn, its part of the life lessons need to make me a better woman for the RIGHT kinda man. You cant make him love you if his heart belongs to another "her". I was naive and maybe I love to hard or maybe I believed him when he said we would be together, that we would always be a we and that forever would be our eternity.
I gave myself to him and to ensure his sanity. See, he didnt make me, I thought at that time for "we". That I needed to be submissive and be the woman a real man needed his Lady to be. That again, is not his fault either, I stopped being me for us not him. Living my life for his needs forgetting because "we", now I know it was all about him. Not his fault, I misused my time and believe me when I say that I am now fully aware that he never loved me. he abused the word "LOVE" and he will one day see, that women like me are't found so easily.
He kissed, carressed and loved me like I needed to be loved. We talked and shared a romance that some will never understand and maybe that is why there was soo much trust, but I was investing in the idea that "we would be together, that we would always be a we and that forever was suppose to be our eternity".
In the end, which is what happened ultimately. He found his love with another or the same her living together and I really dont care if it is happy or unhappily ever after.
Let me tell you why, there will not be another tear that falls from my eyes. Love wont hurt you intentionally or treat you with ill intent. Love wont exploit you and make me feel like a fool to self, him or to them. To be honest, I only know the kind of love I know and that loves is real. So, maybe that is the kinda of love he knows and he thinks his love is the real deal.
Just know I will be his shadow in the middle of his day and the evening wind that silently whispers my name. All the moments that reminds him of every moment ~the passion and love I/We made. My love is pure in all my faults and will remain the same. For the right one or many more. He will never feel the kinda of love I gave him and he always regret it and he will compare. He was who he was with me. The person he truly was, he didnt have to lie or atleast thats what it seemed, hahahaha. He was a lie even with me. so forever he can ponder on the way things could of been. While I am making love to my always and forever; together with the right kinda man...it just won't be with him.
Ready to Love again.
In Love with Love DTD
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