Yesterday's Tomorrow

I was thinking about yesterday and how I would change what had become. Me sitting in my room in an unconscious state and very much alone. Why is it that I am without someone to something to call my own. Thinking about yesterday's and all that went wrong. I looked up at the clock and it was a quarter part 10:00. I laid in bed at 2 cause I felt like I had nothing to do. In the course of that time as it slowly tic toc'd all I could do was stare... At the phone, the TV and the ceiling.....but all that was there, were the thoughts of faults of my past and the emptiness of my future. I didn't think I was depressed just stressed. I didn't want to go anywhere. Didn't want to have to wear a smile that wasn't really there. Entertain folks who don't really care. Sitting in my room, while melancholy melodies and blues filled the air.
That was my life once upon a time when I kept thinking that I could rewind the hands of time and if I couldn't I would try to make tomorrow better by focusing in my past. I was manifesting a cypher of continuous distress. Trying to relive moments making a difference from the yesterday... but really only created similar situations like a broken record, over and over was the outcome, because I was reliving What wasnt meant to be changed. It can't be exchanged its written and thru. Part of lessons learned you have to let go. Learn and move on.
The best part of life is living Has to begin with you
Now is where memories are made, lessons are learned. Bridges are built to cross and sometimes they are meant to be burned. Then, I started to focus on how to be a better me. Watching into a hour glass focusing on future possibilities. Staring into the future of complete Unknowns. Why do I wonder what the future holds. If it is predetermined or created by me, either way you define it is still a distant unmasked memory. It still hasn't introduced itself but in time it does indeed. So, laying in a room alone musing on all these things. Like how I'll be successful or why things aren't happening. What makes my life feel like its in a rut. It's my thoughts I think that suspends me in time. Plays with my emotions and tricks reality into thinking that what is real is what I was losing in my past and i have to make it up somewhere. maybe in tomorrow cause right now is toooo early and i really don't care. Realizing I was focusing on yesterday and tomorrow and neither of them where here. Like why would I put some much of my life on the line for something I can't change and something that isn't yet defined... Seriously, how many hours have I spent wishing on things that can't be undone and stressing over moments that have not even begun. The crazy part about it is that we hold the key to unlocking our own happiness and creating our own destiny. How did it take me so long to see that the only thing that was holding me back from happiness was me. And as much as its easier to lay between the sheets eating ice cream and fantasizing about probabilities.
What makes life wonderful in all its mystery is realizing that NOW is all we have that's true. It's influences time that becomes a memories and initiates the ability to create and maximize opportunities. Is sitting at home in all that sorrow going to change yesterday or tomorrow. Getting out and living life is the best thing to do. When your in a rut, stopping thinking about what ifs. Think about you and where you are at that moment in time. You should be out living your life. I am starting to realize that nothing in life is free.... Well, there is something that is absolutely free and I know now~It's the time I invest in me. Stop worrying about what can't be changed and contemplating on what the future holds. Today is what is real and happiness now is what you should feel. Tomorrow isn't a guarantee and yesterday can't be recreated. It where it needs to be. Yesterday's tomorrow is the life and where you should live daily.

In Love with Love DTD